Jumping frog -- Glorious whitewasher -- On the decay of the art of living -- Punch, brothers, punch -- Death of Jean -- How I was sold in Newark -- On the babies -- About barbers -- On the weather -- Colonel Sellers's schemes for money-making -- Stolen white elephant -- Corn pone opinions -- Rank and dignity of piloting -- My first lie, and how I got out of it -- Maxims of Pudd'nhead Wilson -- On the ladies -- Seventieth birthday -- Curious dream -- Petrified man -- Mark Twain writes to amuse his mother.